Procrastinator vs. Procrastinating

1 day ago

5 min read

Updated: 8 minutes ago

By Andrea Spyros & Nancy DeFina | BD3 Solutions

You've probably said it. Perhaps you said it this week, or maybe even today. Perhaps you've said it at work, at home, in conversation, or just preemptively to manage everyone's expectations, including your own. You're so used to saying it that it hardly sounds like a problem. It's more like describing a personality trait, like being a night owl or a Scorpio.

The only problem is that those words are causing more damage than you might think. However, there is good news: two words will solve this.

The Label That Keeps You in the Cycle

In our last article, we explored how every action is a vote for the type of person you want to become. Most people think if they change their beliefs, they will change their behavior. But research shows the opposite. Behavior comes first; belief comes next. When there are enough votes for the same thing, your brain believes it's true. When you start acting in ways that support who you want to be, you begin to experience yourself with that new identity.

Calling yourself a procrastinator is like stuffing the ballot box for the opposing candidate. Unlike the tiny actions we discussed, there’s no physical action required. You just say (or think) the words. "I'm such a procrastinator."

What makes this particularly easy to miss is that "I'm a procrastinator" doesn't sound like a harsh judgment; it sounds like self-awareness. It sounds honest, even a little charming. This is precisely what makes it one of the stickiest Judgments in Hidden Knot #3.

Judgments are a term used to describe the negative self-talk that keeps you stuck in the Procrastination Cycle, such as "I should be doing this," "I'm lazy," and "I can't." Judgments lower motivation and increase effort. The longer you listen to them, the harder everything feels. Calling yourself a procrastinator is a Judgment with excellent PR. It sounds insightful. That’s what gives it so much staying power.

A Two-Word Shift

The shift is this: from I’m such a procrastinator to I procrastinated.

One is an identity. The other is a behavior, something you did. And the difference between those two things is enormous.

"I am a procrastinator" is definitive, absolute, and part of your nature. Accepting it provides the context for everything ahead of time and the excuses afterwards. It closes the door on questioning whether things could be different or any possible alternative because it is simply “who you are.”

"I procrastinated on that report" is specific, past tense, and describes a behavior. It’s just one thing that happened. It doesn't say anything about who you are. It leaves the door open.

Think about all the labels you once believed were a permanent part of your identity. Perhaps you’ve thought: "I'm not an exercise person.” “I'm terrible with money.” “I just can't get organized." Dr. BJ Fogg, a Stanford behavior scientist, writes about Sukumar, who had believed for seventeen years that he simply “wasn't an exercise guy” until two push-ups changed his story. None of those labels were permanent. They were votes that had piled up into something that felt like a personality trait.

"Procrastinator" works just like that. It felt true, so it became true, and therefore, it continued to feel true. But it was a Judgment all along.

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What the Three "A"s Can Do With This

If you've been using the Three "A"s, you already have the tools to do this. The application here is just a little more detailed.

Awareness is the first step. You can't change a label that you don't know you're using. Start listening for the moments you reach for it: the casual "I'm just a procrastinator" in conversation, the internal "of course I didn't do it, I never do," the pre-emptive apology before anything has even gone wrong. When you hear it, you've already done the most important thing: you've caught it.

Awareness also gives you the ability to evaluate whether the label is accurate in this moment. Are you truly procrastinating, or have you decided something isn't a priority right now? Are you avoiding something, or are you genuinely not ready to act on it yet? The label flattens everything into one story. Awareness lets you look at what's actually happening.

Ask Questions loosens the label. Judgments lock in a perceived reality and leave no room for anything else. Questions do the opposite. Try:

Am I really a procrastinator, or did I simply procrastinate on a specific task?
Is that really true, or is that a Judgment?
What's actually making this feel hard to do right now?

This last question is particularly helpful in shifting the conversation away from self-identification and into identifying what the actual obstacle is. Sometimes it is simply a task that's too vague to act on (that’s Hidden Knot #1: kNot an Action), a time of day that doesn’t work well for you, or a project that needs a starter step. You are blinded to all of this by your identity as a “procrastinator,” and a question helps to reveal that.

Accomplishments are the counter-evidence. If "I'm such a procrastinator" is built from accumulated votes, the Accomplishments "A" is what lets you see all the votes for a different candidate (that is also you!). Such as things you have started, finished, showed up for, followed through on. Most people don't acknowledge these. They remember every deadline they squeaked past and forget the dozens they met with no problem.

When you look back for your successes instead, the story begins to change. You're not solely who your worst moments say you are; you're also who your best moments say. And you get to choose what evidence matters most to you.

Try This Language Swap This Week

The next time you hear yourself saying, “I’m such a procrastinator” in a conversation, in your mind, or in an apologetic message, stop yourself. Instead, shift to the “behavior version”: I procrastinated.

You can also try this Tiny Habit Recipe:

After I catch myself saying, "I'm such a procrastinator," I will change it to "I procrastinated on ___" and I will say it out loud. Celebrate this by saying, “That's the kind of thing someone who is changing does.”

Remember, “procrastinator” is an identity. “I procrastinated” describes a behavior, something you did in the past. You can change your behavior going forward, and every time you behave differently, it gives you proof that you’re someone who can change. And your identity follows that proof.

In our next article, we’ll look at how the votes you’re casting now start to compound, and what it looks like when the Procrastination Cycle starts running in reverse.

Andrea Spyros and Nancy DeFina are the founders of BD3 Solutions and creators of Untangle Procrastination™, a science-based program grounded in models and methods from the Stanford Behavior Design Lab.

ICYMI→Get our full program here.

Learn more at bd3solutions.com/untangleprocrastination.